“Proofing Your Script” – Written by Derek Ladd –  Editor, Proof Edge


KEEPING IT CLEAN : Terminating Terrible Typos – The Importance of Proofing


I watched an interesting film a while back called ‘The Prestige’ with Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman. You may have seen it. A few months later I read the script (courtesy of DailyScipt). There are more typos in that one screenplay than in all the screenplays I’ve edited combined. Do yourself a favor and read this script. Hopefully it will teach you how distracting typos can be and why you should be diligent in eliminating them. There seems to be a rule somewhere that says if you’re an established screenwriter you needn’t be concerned with your spelling and grammar. Maybe so, but I’ve never heard of a producer or agent being turned off by a script that was “too clean.”

Typos are like potholes in your screenplay: every time a reader hits one it jolts him or her out of your story. Your mission as a screenwriter is to deliver a script that reads like a freshly paved stretch of highway.

Typos aren’t just obvious misspellings, either. Most of what I see are properly spelled words used in the wrong places: their in place of they’re, were in place of we’re, rode in place of road, etc. Spell check is a useful tool, but for this reason, relying on it alone to proof your work is a bad idea. Friends and family, including fellow screenwriters, can be a good resource of fresh eyes. But keep in mind that working for free (and knowing you) may impact the results.

Choosing Your Words – Editing

A screenwriter should not be scared by the concept of someone else editing his or her screenplay. A good editor uses a scalpel – a poor editor uses a chainsaw. Over the years I’ve made it my trademark as a ‘word surgeon’ to edit only when necessary in order to keep the writer’s original voice intact.

When writing your screenplay, choose your words very carefully. Don’t use a word like ‘melancholy’ when ‘sad’ or ‘depressed’ will do. I’ve seen writers use words like ‘erudite’, ‘obsequious’, ‘impetuous’, ‘feckless’ and ‘solipsistic’ in their screenplays. It’s great to have a large vocabulary, but with the exception of elaborate medical/technical terms used for realism, try to use shorter, simpler words whenever possible. The fewer syllables you use the faster the read. The last thing you want to do is weigh down your wonderful script with five-dollar words – especially if it forces a reader to crack open a dictionary every two minutes.As most screenwriters know, unlike a novel, the page count of a screenplay is limited, which is why an editor can be a big help.

You’ve crafted your precious baby and you love it to pieces: the characters, the plot, and every line of dialogue is perfect. The problem is, it’s 147 pages and you can’t bear the thought of cutting a single word. Enter the editor. If I’m asked to gently trim a little here and there without damaging your little darling I’ll look for the following: large words, redundancy, unnecessary dialogue, dialogue that overlaps action (showing something AND telling about it in the same scene), and so on. My greatest feat to date is taking a 163-pagescript down to 120 pages. Don’t ask me how I did it – a magician never reveals his secrets.

It’s Developmental, My Dear Watson

Many writers are proficient at telling stories but need a little developmental assistance when it comes to distilling what they’ve written into what they really mean. This can be done with subtext (visual or spoken), or simply by trimming down information that isn’t needed. For example, look at the lines of dialogue below:

                              TERRY
               How are you and Dave getting along?

                              DIANA
               How are we getting along? Not very well. 
               He’s not around much anymore, spends most
               of his time on the road. When he is home,
               it seems like all we do is fight.

What do you think, screenwriters? Eh. Right? Surely you could do better. The above is a mild example, but an editor might make thefollowing suggestion:

                              TERRY
              How are you and Dave getting along?

                              DIANA

              Like a snake and a weasel. When he’s not
              on the road I usually spend the next day
              sweeping up broken glass.

Notice how Diana doesn’t repeat Terry’s question and doesn’t use ‘seems like’ in the last sentence. The first Diana sounds passive and timid – her lines sound dull. The second Diana sounds cynical and hardened by her situation – her lines are more direct, angrier.

Once an editor gets a feel for a screenwriter’s characters, suggestions like the one above are much easier to make. If the writer establishes Diana as a jaded, hard-nosed woman on page 5, the first lines of dialogue above wouldn’t fit and a good editor would point this out. A more common situation is one where the screenwriter simply goes on and on and on with a chunk of dialogue when a few lines will do.

Other times, parts of a script just don’t work. Characters say or do things that don’t make sense, don’t fit the story, don’t move the story forward, or all of the above. In these situations an editor will often make suggestions based on where he or she thinks the writer wants the story to go. This is why establishing the theme and tone of your story as soon as possible is essential – without knowing the theme and tone, an editor might make suggestions that aren’t helpful. But if you establish that your script is intended as a family comedy, an editor will probably tell you that having someone get shot in the head in act 3 won’t play (unless Quentin Tarantino is directing – he might be able to make it work).

Know Your Stuff – Fact Checking

Adding factual realism to your screenplay can make for a more enjoyable read, but only if you keep your facts straight. A good editor will look into anything that seems askew in this area. If you’re writing a thriller that opens with the discovery of a dead body, make sure your lead detective doesn’t move the body (without good reason) until after the coroner determines a time of death and clears it for processing. If you’re writing a Vietnam-era war movie set in 1968 make sure your soldiers aren’t using M16A2 service rifles.

The devil is in the details they say, and while many readers might not notice, if a factual error goes unfixed, someone will.Over the past several years I’ve spotted and corrected many factual errors for clients. Some were as simple as the name of a foreign city or landmark – a misspelling or location – while others were as complex as the type of treatment and medication given to convicted killers in an insane asylum. How and when you do your research is up to you, but make sure you do it. If you don’t, the thriller you wrote that takes place in a hospital might fail to impress the producer who spent 15 years as a nurse

Summary

The longer a screenplay sits on your hard drive the harder it is for you, the writer, to spot your own mistakes. The work ‘hardens’ like cement, and soon you’ve read through it so many times that the same mistakes you missed on the first, second, third and fourth passes become invisible to you. So enlist the help of friends, family, fellow screenwriters, circus clowns (if they’re good readers, why not?) and professionals to help you polish your work until it shines.

Producers and agents (and readers in general) will thank you for it.

Bio

Derek Ladd started Proof Edge in April of 2003 and has been editing professionally ever since. His clients include award-winning author and screenwriter, Chanrithy Him, screenwriter and film producer, Erin McNamara, and professional cinematographer and screenwriter,Jim Grieco. Many of Derek’s clients comment on his ability as a long-time writer to offer helpful suggestions, and close to a dozen have won or placed in screenwriting contests over the past 4 years.